So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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