like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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