From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
