grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Success! We fucked roommates!
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