Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
