I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
