Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
