i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
