I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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