We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
