dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
