I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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