Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
