David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
