bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
