i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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