And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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