Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Randomize
