in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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