He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
