i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
