lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
