And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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