i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
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It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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