If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
