so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
