do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
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Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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