Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
