Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
