Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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