Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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