How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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