i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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