Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
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he laminated a picture of his dick.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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