So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i need some magic done to my vagina
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
