I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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