We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
