these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
