You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
