Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sext me about skeletons
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
