Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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