i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
