i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
