"it" just moved
I bet he comes in French.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
