Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
