So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
