The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
