Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
