Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
