R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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