btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
