that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize