susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
