Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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