its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
