Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Jerry, you need to find god
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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