Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
