these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
