i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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