I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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