He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
