normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
