yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
