I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
